He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
