I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
