I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize