So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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