watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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