So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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