your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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