he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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