the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
