420 ftw
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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