ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize