I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
