Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
