and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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