sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
