Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
