Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The Olympian is in my bed
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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