we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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