Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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