and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
