My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
