sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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