I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
