I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
