would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
