If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
