My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
