What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it was like eating out sand paper
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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