census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
