I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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