and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is Oprah even human
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
