**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
