Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
