Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's never too late to be topless.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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