ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
