thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
