My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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