Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
