The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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