xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
