As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
