watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
me + whiskey = a bad person
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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