he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize