well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
