my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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