I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
