I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
