that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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