I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
