Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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