my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
