so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
