If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
