i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize