You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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