We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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