I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
