Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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