Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you would pick up someone in the library
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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