just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
